After months of having embarrassing accidents while out in public, I made the difficult decision to start wearing incontinence pads. I’m still a relatively healthy young man, but I was finding myself needing the toilet urgently, when a small leak would ease the pain and urgency. I’m now having difficulty getting over the fear of leaking in the pad, even though I know it’s not going to cause the same embarrassment as without. I also fear that I’m going to go too far, and don’t want to be wearing unnecessary heavy duty pants. Any advice would be great in overcoming this. It’s taken me a long time for me to overcome the embarrassment of seeking advice, as I can’t even discuss it with my partner.
Finding the right/best protection for your incontinence is so important and we are lucky that the range, quality and accessibility of incontinence products has improved so much in recent years. I have had long term problems, initially at night but now 24/7, due to spinal injury/damage and as a result I use the TENA Slip Maxi Active Fit, which is an all-in-one adult nappy. I have tried pull ups but I wet too heavily. Fortunately I am in the UK and get them supplied by the NHS. If you have not done so already, I would also really urge you to see your doctor or a local specialist nurse continence adviser, especially if you are experiencing pain when you wee which you suggest you do. The latter was a life saver for me and just gave me so much support when it all started (30 years or so ago!) They assessed how much I was wetting and advised on the different ways to manage my incontinence and what level of protection would be best so that I could be confident to go out without fear of the pads leaking. They also arrange and manage the NHS supplies. I hope this helps.
First of all, sorry to hear what happened to you at a young age, and thank you for the advice, that’s really helpful. I’ve suffered with urge incontinence since my childhood, I was never a bed wetter, but I often used to wet myself in school. I’m 51 now, and it’s not been a problem throughout my adult life until probably a few years ago when I started planning my life around the toilet. I started using pads to save on the embarrassment, and to stop the pain of holding it in for long periods at a time. I have had a couple of accidents since starting to wear pads, as I’ve lost control more than expected, so starting wearing higher protection nappies. I know I should go to the doctor, but it does worry me in case it’s something more serious, but then again that should be the biggest reason to go. This forum is the only place I can really talk about it in confidence, so any advice is much appreciated, and thank you.
You should definitely go and see your doctor or if you find it easier the local continence adviser/nurse specialist. That was what I did. That was 30 years ago! I have tried medication over the years without success, catheters gave me UTIs, and so I have found adult nappies the best way to manage my incontinence. I find that with the TENA Slip Maxi nappies I have to change once every 4-6 hours on average during the day and will sometimes wake early in the morning and have to change. That way I find I avoid leaks and can be more confident in the nappies.
I’ve been to see my doctor, and all blood tests came back okay thankfully. I’ve been prescribed Tamsulosin for BPH but it has the most horrendous side effects, and I’m still heavily reliant on nappies. I’ve gone from Tena to Attends as they were the cheaper option, but not finding them too helpful as I’m having to change my nappy once or twice a day. I am starting to become more confident wearing nappies now, but I’m still wary of leaking and try to stop myself without much success.