I have struggled with incontinence most of my life but always managed to hide it since I was about 13 yrs because I was so ashamed. My parents used to hold me down and put nappies on me by force as an older child as a punishment for wetting myself so I got very clever at hiding it. I had an operation in Feb this year to fix the problem but that has left me with urge incontinence and I can’t hide it as I flood. I don’t have much choice in wearing nappies now and I have panic attacks when I have to put them on.
Ive been trying to deal with my incontinence properly since april and honestly there isn’t much that you can do for the embarrasment in my opinion. Just try to be honest with yourself. It isn’t your fault that you are incontinent to i would just say to be honest with yourself and (if you want to) tell 1 or 2 of your closest friends so you arent keeping it bottled up. If they are real friends then they will support you.
All i can say elsewise is good luck