I have struggled with incontinence most of my life but always managed to hide it since I was about 13 yrs because I was so ashamed. My parents used to hold me down and put nappies on me by force as an older child as a punishment for wetting myself so I got very clever at hiding it. I had an operation in Feb this year to fix the problem but that has left me with urge incontinence and I can’t hide it as I flood. I don’t have much choice in wearing nappies now and I have panic attacks when I have to put them on.
Although I wet my bed off and on as child and through my teenage years, it was as an adult after a neck injury that it really became a problem and like you I had to start wearing adult nappies for protection. Keeping it secret was difficult but the embarrassment of wearing nappies was nothing compared to the embarrassment of a wet bed if I was staying away so I soon accepted that wearing protection was less embarrassing and I did tell a small number of close friends. I think the most difficult was telling my now wife when I first met her! I have used the TENA Slip products for over 30 years now and currently use the TENA Slip Maxi Active Fit as I have found them to be the best. Unfortunately, other spinal problems and operations mean that I have to wear protection 24/7 as I have no feeling that I am wetting. For me, wearing adult nappies is the only way I can manage my incontinence successfully. The biggest difference that wearing nappies made for me was giving me back my confidence to go out. Now they are just my normal underwear. I carry a small bag with a changing kit in it as I will typically go through 2 or 3 during the day. I do sometime have leaks – wetting heavily if I am sleeping on my side and when driving long distances and not realising how wet my nappy is are typical situations. Even now only a handful of friends know and the products are so good these days that I don’t think anyone ever notices that I am wearing a nappy. I was the opposite of you in that I actually got more anxious when I was NOT wearing a nappy but was also a bit anxious about exacerbating the problem and relying on my nappy rather than trying to go to the loo regularly. Now it is just an everyday part of my life and I am able to get on with it. I hope this helps.