She does not want any help from doctors and is very frail. I’m not how I can keep her cleN
You need to use products that are designed specially for incontinence, such as cleansing creams/foams and incontinence wipes. Ensure you cleanse the area thoroughly after any accidents, and do not use soap or water, as this can cause irritation. Conti continence care wipes are ideal, as you do not need to add water, and they cleanse and moisturise the skin. Take care if you are using a washcloth, as you can easily cause an injury if you are not gentle.
Is your mum in a suitable protective product?
You mention your mum does not want help from Doctors, however, if you struggle to take care of her, I would recommend contacting your district nurse or a carer for extra help.